Interfaith Marriages

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

           
Muslim men  and women are told  to seek faithful spouses  with a
strong,  good  belief,  and  not  allow  non-Muslim standards of
selection influence them.

Muslim men  can marry only  Muslim, Christian, or  Jewish chaste
women, while Muslim women can marry only chaste Muslim men.

Allah (s.w.t.)  said: {{This day are  (all) good things made
lawful  for you.  The food  of those  who have  received the
Scripture  is lawful  for you,  and your  food is lawful for
them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the
virtuous  women of  those  who  have received  the Scripture
before  you  (lawful  for  you)  when  you  give  them their
marriage  portions  and  live  with  them  in  honor, not in
fornication,  nor taking  them as  secret concubines.  Whoso
denies the faith, his work is  vain and he will be among the
losers in the Hereafter.}} [Al-Qur'an: Al-Ma'idah (5:5)].

A Muslim man is discouraged  from marrying a non-Muslim woman if
there is no Islamic State or if  he is not living in an existing
Islamic state, since the non-Islamic states do not recognize his
rights as head of the  family to raise the children Islamically.
On the contrary, the children will  most likely be brought up in
their mother's religion, since the  Muslim husband does not have
his Islamic rights in his non-Muslim wife's country.

There are many  tragic examples of Muslim men  who tried to take
their  children to  their Muslim  countries after  they divorced
non-Muslim wives. The women in  many of these cases succeeded in
bringing  the  children  back  to  be  raised in the non-Islamic
societies  as  non-Muslims.  The  fathers  are  referred  to  as
kidnappers  (of their  own children)  in the  non-Islamic media.
Unfortunately,  even the  governments in  Muslim countries these
days help the  non-Muslim wives to get custody  of the children.
This  is due  to the  absence of  an Islamic  state which  would
protect Muslim children from being kidnapped by non-Muslim wives
to be raised as non-Muslims.

Muslim  men  should  consider  these  issues  before  they marry
non-Muslim women, especially when the man is strongly influenced
by  her physical  appearance. A  Muslim man  should look  to the
future and  consider his duties  toward his children.  The cases
mentioned show clearly  the damage that can be  done to children
in interfaith marriages, and while a personal sin may be easy to
forget and repent from, one may never overcome the problems that
arise  because  his  children  were  raised  as non-Muslims as a
result of  his negligence concerning providing  the right spouse
and community for them. Children have the right to be brought up
in an Islamic environment by good Muslim parents.

The  benefits of  marrying a  non-Muslim woman  are minimal when
both live  in a non-Islamic  state. The woman  and her relatives
would not  see how Muslims live  as a community, nor  would they
have close contact with family,  should the Muslim man decide to
marry her and live outside  the Islamic State. Marrying a chaste
Christian  or  Jewish  woman  in  a  non-Islamic state should be
considered as a last resort and  as the only alternative to keep
him from falling into adultery. Men, however, should be aware of
the fact that most women in non-Islamic societies do not qualify
as chaste women in Islam,  (i.e. abstention from unlawful sexual
activities). Some Muslim men  ignore these conditions and ignore
the commands of Allah when they are misled and fooled by a smile
from a non-Muslim woman.

Abdullah  Ibn  `Abbas,  a  famous  companion  of the Prophet
(s.a.w.) and  a famous scholar, said  that Muslim men should
not  marry Christian  or Jewish  women from  people who  are
enemies of Islam.

Dr. Yusuf Al-Qaradhawi, a contemporary Muslim scholar, said that
the Christian  or Jewish women can  be married only if  the four
conditions summarized below are satisfied:

She must be  Kitabiyyah, i.e. Christian or Jewish  by faith, and
not by virtue  of birth into a Christian  or Jewish family. Many
women  who  live  in  Christian  or  Jewish  societies today are
atheists, Buddhists  or Bahai's. These women  are prohibited for
Muslim  men.  A  woman  who  commits  apostasy,  by  becoming  a
non-Muslim after being a Muslim, would not be allowed to marry a
Muslim man, since apostasy is much worse than unbelief.


She must be Muhsanah, which means chaste and virtuous. Women who
are involved  in illicit relationships  with men are  prohibited
for Muslim men. Most non-Muslim  women these days do not qualify
as Muhsanat  (chaste and virtuous women  who abstain from sexual
activities outside  marriage), and Muslim men  should fear Allah
and keep this condition in mind.


The woman  should not be from  people who are fighting  Islam or
are helping others  to fight Islam. Since Israel  is at war with
Islam, all Jews around the  world are helping Israel, Muslim men
should not  marry Jewish women  is she is  from people who  help
Israel.


There should  be no threat  or possible harm  from marrying her.
For example, if a man's children would not be raised as Muslims,
he should not marry her. If  the courts in a non-Islamic society
would give the  children to her in the case  of divorce, then he
cannot  marry her,  unless she   agrees that  he would  have the
children in the case of divorce.

Dr. Yusuf Al-Qaradhawi  also said that Muslim men  may not marry
Christian  or Jewish  women if  the Muslim  community is a small
minority in a huge non-Muslim  society, and such marriages would
make it impossible for Muslim women to find Muslim men to marry.
This is  classified under "limiting the  allowed" in the Islamic
jurisprudence. Dr.  Yusuf Al-Qaradhawi used the  example that if
all people  grew cotton instead  of wheat, the  government would
have  the right  to stop  them from  doing so,  since wheat is a
necessary food ingredient, even though growing cotton is allowed
in normal cases.

Non-Muslim women who repent and  accept Islam are treated as any
other  Muslim if  their acceptance  of Islam  is sincere and not
merely for  the purpose of  marrying Muslim men.  Islam forgives
all that  was before it.  Some people, however,  accept Islam by
name only to marry a Muslim, without showing the least change in
their  lifestyles to  prove that  they are  following Islam. One
should not marry from such people.

There are many Muslim girls of a marriageable age who are living
in non-Islamic countries,  and it is the duty  of the Muslim men
to protect  these girls from  marrying non-Muslim men,  which is
absolutely prohibited  in Islam. If Muslim  men loosely practice
their  right to  marry Christian  or Jewish  women, the  Muslims
girls  in non-Islamic  societies  will  be forced  into unwanted
circumstances  and  Muslim  men   will  be  at  least  partially
responsible  and will  get their  share of  the punishment  from
Allah.

    In  considering  marriage  to  a  non-Muslim  woman a man should
remember  that  marriage  is   more  than  the  private  marital
relationship. A good Muslim woman would provide her husband with
total security, comfort, trust,  tranquility, and happiness, and
would raise the  children as good Muslims. A  man would not have
to see his children taken to a church every Sunday without being
able to prevent it or live  with the concern that his wife would
teach his  children un-Islamic traditions. It  is much easier to
trust a Muslim  woman than to trust a  non-Muslim woman who does
not fear Allah,  and know that He is watching  her all the time.
And  certainly a  woman who  does not  fear Allah,  who sees and
knows everything, will not fear or  obey her husband who is only
home in the evenings.

Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: {A woman is chosen as a wife
for her wealth, beauty, family,  and faith. Win the one that
has the faith or you  would ruin your life.} (Al-Bukhari and
Muslim).

The  following verses  from the  Qur'an beautifully  give us the
guidelines for selecting the right spouse:

Allah   (s.w.t.)  said:   {{Do  not   marry  Mushrik   women
(idolatresses)  until  they  believe;   a  slave  woman  who
believes is better  than a free woman who  does not believe,
even   though  (the   idolatress)  woman   may  appear  very
attractive to  you. (Likewise) Do not  marry (your girls) to
Mushrik men (idolaters) until they  believe; a slave man who
believes is  better than an unbeliever,  even though he (the
Mushrik) may  attract you. These Mushriks  invite you to the
fire,  but Allah,  by His  Grace, invites  you to His Jannah
(Heaven), and forgives by His leave, and (Allah) makes clear
His  messages to  people so  that they  might bear them into
mind.}} [Al-Qur'an: Al-Baqarah (2:221)].

Wassalam!.